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Happy Birthday, Albert Einstein!

Today at Quotables we’re celebrating the 132nd Birthday of one of our most quotable – the legendary Albert Einstein! The German-born theoretical physicist created the theory of relativity, and is now known as the father of modern physics.

We’ve compiled a collection of the greatest quotes from the Nobel Prize Winner for your quotable enjoyment!

1. If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
— Albert Einstein

2. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.
— Albert Einstein

3. If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.
— Albert Einstein

4. Life is like riding a bicycle – in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving
— Albert Einstein

5. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
— Albert Einstein

6. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.
— Albert Einstein

7. A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
— Albert Einstein

8. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
— Albert Einstein

9. Only a life lived for others is worth living.
— Albert Einstein

10. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
— Albert Einstein

11. Do not become a man who is successful. Try to become a man of value.
— Albert Einstein

12. Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.
— Albert Einstein

13. The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
— Albert Einstein

14. I have no special gift. I am only passionately curious.
— Albert Einstein

15. Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.
— Albert Einstein

16. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
— Albert Einstein

17. I never teach my pupils. I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.
— Albert Einstein

18. In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.
— Albert Einstein

19. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
— Albert Einstein

20. If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.
— Albert Einstein

We’re also celebrating Einstein’s birthday over on Twitter – @QuotablesLoves. Follow us there for funny, wise, and inspiring quotes on the hour, every hour.

What is your favourite Einsteinism?

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International Women’s Day: 40 Funny Women

It’s 8th March, which means one thing… it’s International Women’s Day! If you haven’t heard about this day of brilliance, it is a major global celebration of women’s economic, political and social achievements. To learn more about International Women’s Day, check out the information and events at the official website.

To celebrate Quotables-style, we’ve given great thought to the women who inspire us, and have selected some of our most quotable women for your reading pleasure. To kick things off, here’s our fabulous Top 40 Funny Women…

20 Funny Women

1. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
— Joan Rivers

2. Smart girls know how to play tennis, piano and dumb.
— Lynn Redgrave

3. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
— Mae West

4. I think that the most important thing a woman can have – next to talent, of course – is her hairdresser.
— Joan Crawford

5. That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
— Dorothy Parker

6. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
— Lily Tomlin

7. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert.
— Erma Bombeck

8. My idea of exercise is a good, brisk sit.
— Phyllis Diller

9. Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
— Rita Rudner

10. I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.
— Virginia Woolf

11. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
— Ellen DeGeneres

12. Sometimes people act like the US isn’t the only country in the whole world.
— Sarah Silverman

13. Success didn’t spoil me; I’ve always been insufferable.
— Fran Lebowitz

14. I will not… sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise and authority and sense of self as woman of substance, complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend.
— Helen Fielding

15. I knew there was something I had to do yesterday. I couldn’t remember what it is. I can’t figure it out. I know it’s a holiday. I know I don’t have a meeting. It’s very confusing.
— Jennifer Beals

16. If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.
— Lucille Bell

17. Now my children won’t even eat chips because some little know all bastard at school told them a potato was a vegetable.
— Victoria Wood

18. Oh my God! I used to have that exact same t-shirt when I was a man!
— Laura Solon

19. It’s no fun being a broody Iranian woman. Every time I said to people “My body clock is ticking,” they would hit the ground!
— Shappi Khorsandi

20. I married beneath me, all women do.
— Nancy Astor

20 Fictional Females

1. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve lived in New York, it’s still fun to look up and pretend all the buildings are giant, severed, robot penises.
— Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

2. If it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.
— Sue Sylvester, Glee

3. Dave Lizewski: How do I get a hold of you?
Hit Girl: You just contact the mayor’s office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky. It’s in the shape of a giant cock.

— Hit Girl, Kick Ass

4. Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!
— Kitty Farmer, Donnie Darko

5. Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.
— Jordan Cox, Scrubs

6. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there, a gnome?
— Olive Penderghast, Easy A

7. That’s Ren and Stimpy. They’re way existential.
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless

8. Mrs Doyle: Ach go on you won’t have one? It’s got cocaine in it.
Ted: What!?
Mrs Doyle: Oh no no no, not cocaine. What’s the word? Raisins.

— Mrs Doyle, Father Ted

9. You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die. Obviously.
— Roxy Richter, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

10. You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. I must say, the mind reels.
— Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

11. Never eat more than you can lift.
— Miss Piggy, The Muppets

12. Romance is dead – it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
— Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons

13. Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?
— Brittany S. Pierce, Glee

14. What kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?
— Penny, The Big Bang Theory

15. I may play the fool at times but I’m a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won’t quit.
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends

16. Yes, Tina Fey, you’re better than Jesus.
— Lois Griffin, Family Guy

17. You sleep with one old guy, and suddenly you’re Catherine Zeta-Jones.
— Paris Geller, Gilmore Girls

18. I know it may look like I was being a bitch, but that’s only because I was acting like a bitch.
— Cady Heron, Mean Girls

19. You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do…I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.
— Jessica Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

20. Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.
— Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix


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Quotables Does World Book Night

Joining the ranks of the World Book Day celebrations is a new initiative – World Book Night – to take place for the first time this Saturday, 5th March. It’s the first ever attempted far-reaching celebration of adult books, and it’s taking place in the UK and Ireland this weekend.

The book give-away will comprise 40,000 copies of each of the 25 carefully selected titles, to be given away by 20,000 ‘givers’, who will each distribute 48 copies of their chosen title to whomever they choose on World Book Night. The remaining books will be distributed by World Book Night itself in places that might otherwise be difficult to reach, such as prisons and hospitals.

As we said on World Book Day, we’re huge advocates of literacy and efforts to encourage reading in people of all ages. We’re also excited to be taking part in World Book Night ourselves!

Our Web Editor Nicola has been selected as a giver and we will be celebrating all things quotable by adding our own little twist. We’ll be handing out 48 copies of Alan Bennet’s A Life Like Other People‘s on the streets of Glasgow, along with our friend Holly, who has copies of Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters to distribute. Keep an eye on our Twitter – @QuotablesHQ – for updates.

To celebrate, here are a selection of our quotes from each of the books to be given away on World Book Night.

Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
There are some things that are so unforgivable that they make other things easily forgivable.
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Case Histories* by Kate Atkinson
She should have done science, not spent all her time with her head in novels. Novels gave you a completely false idea about life, they told lies and they implied there were endings when in reality there were no endings, everything just went on and on and on.
— Kate Atkinson

The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood
If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next — if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions — you’d be doomed. You’d be ruined as God. You’d be a stone. You’d never eat or drink or laugh or get out of bed in the morning. You’d never dare to.
— Margaret Atwood

A Life Like Other People’s by Alan Bennett
A life varies in social importance. We set most value on the life of a child.
— Alan Bennett

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John le Carré
He remembered how on nights like these, clusters of Berlin policemen and Allied soldiers used to gather under the arc lights, stamping their feet, cursing the cold, fidgeting their rifles from shoulder to shoulder, puffing clouds of frosted breath into each other’s faces. He remembered how the tanks waited, growling to keep their engines warm, their gun barrels picking targets on the other side, feigning strength.
— John le Carre

Killing Floor by Lee Child
I slid slowly out of the booth and extended my wrists to the officer with the revolver. I wasn’t going to lie on the floor. Not for these country boys. Not if they brought along their whole police department with howitzers.
— Lee Child

The World’s Wife by Carol Ann Duffy
Be terrified.
It’s you I love,
perfect man,
Greek God, my own;
but I know you’ll go,
betray me, stray
from home.
So better by far for
me if you were stone.

— Carol Ann Duffy, from the poem “Medusa”

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.
— Mark Haddon

New Selected Poems by Seamus Heaney
The wintry haw is burning out of season,
crab of the thorn, a small light for small people,
wanting no more from them but that they keep
the wick of self-respect from dying out,
not having to blind them with illumination.

— Seamus Heaney

Rachel’s Holiday by Marian Keyes
The events that led to me being called a drug addict had the same element of celestial farce that the rest of my life had.
— Marian Keyes

The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hahmed
Some of my relatives held onto imagined memories the way that homeless people hold onto lottery tickets. Nostalgia was their crack cocaine, if you will, and my childhood was littered with the consequences of their addiction: unserviceable debts, squabbles over inheritances, the odd alcoholic or suicide. In this, Jim and I were indeed similar:he had grown up outside the candy store, and I had grown up on its threshold as its door was being shut.
— Mohsin Hamid

Agent Zigzag by Ben Macintyre
The thievery started in a small way: a forged check here, a snatched suitcase there, a little light burglary. His early crimes were unremarkable, the first faltering steps of an apprentice.
— Ben Macintyre

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love.
— Gabriel García Márquez

Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart.
— Yann Martel

Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters
And so on, until you arrive at the other side, among the purely abstract self-harming: the grinding over your failures, the refusal to remember anything good, the determination to ensure – if anyone falls into the mistake of making it clear they actually like you – that the next time round they change their opinion pronto. Emotional self-cannibalism, in other words, like those tessellated pictures of a person grappling with a mirror image of himself.
— Alexander Masters

A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
Flirting with madness was one thing; when madness started flirting back, it was time to call the whole thing off.
— Rohinton Mistry

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops?
— David Mitchell

Beloved by Toni Morrison
There is a loneliness that can be rocked. Arms crossed, knees drawn up, holding, holding on, this motion, unlike a ship’s, smooths and contains the rocker. It’s an inside kind–wrapped tight like skin. Then there is the loneliness that roams. No rocking can hold it down. It is alive. On its own. A dry and spreading thing that makes the sound of one’s own feet going seem to come from a far-off place.
— Toni Morrison

One Day by David Nicholls
“Just kidding” was exactly what people wrote when they meant every word.
— David Nicholls

Northern Lights by Philip Pullman
That’s the duty of the old,’ said the Librarian, ‘to be anxious on the behalf of the young. And the duty of the young is to scorn the anxiety of the old.’ They sat for a while longer, and then parted, for it was late, and they were old and anxious.
— Philip Pullman

All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
It is very queer that the unhappiness of the world is so often brought on by small men.
— Erich Maria Remarque

Dissolution by C.J. Sansom
I was down in Surrey on business for Lord Cromwell’s office, when the summons came.
— C. J. Sanson

Toast by Nigel Slater
Food has been my career, my hobby, and, it must be said, my escape.
— Nigel Slater

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark
Allow me, in conclusion, to congratulate you warmly upon your sexual intercourse, as well as your singing.
— Muriel Spark

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters
We have a name for your disease. We call it a hyper-aesthetic one. You have been encouraged to over-indulge yourself in literature; and have inflamed your organs of fancy.
— Sarah Waters

Are you taking part in World Book Night? Which book would you most like to give out?

Image by mindyapple.

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World Book Day

It’s World Book Day today here in the UK. A whole day of celebrating books, reading, writers and all things bookish! Here’s the skinny:

World Book Day was designated by UNESCO as a worldwide celebration of books and reading, and is marked in over 100 countries around the globe. The origins of the day we now celebrate in the UK and Ireland come from Catalonia, where roses and books were given as gifts to loved ones on St. George’s Day – a tradition started over 90 years ago.

To celebrate Quotables-style, we’ve compiled some of our favourite quotes about books and reading to get you inspired to pick up a book this World Book Day. Enjoy!

1. People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
— Logan Pearsall Smith

2. Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.
— Jack Handey

3. It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.
— Oscar Wilde

4. So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall.
— Roald Dahl

5. Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.
— Jack Handey

6. Whatever we read from intense curiosity gives us a model of how we should always read.
— Ernest Dimnet

7. Good friends, good books & a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
— Mark Twain

8. Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers.
— Charles W. Eliot

9. The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid.
— Jane Austen

10. A book, lying unopened, is but a bound, sleeping, innocuous little animal that will do no one any harm. Whoever does not arouse it, will not be yawned at; whoever does not poke his nose between its jaws, will not be bitten.
— Wilhelm Busch

11. You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.
— C. S. Lewis

12. Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
— Bill Watterson

13. Reading one book is like eating one crisp.
— Diane Duane

14. A sure sign of a good book is that you like it more the older you get.
— Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

15. Choose an author as you choose a friend.
— Wentworth Dillon

16. Always read stuff that’ll make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
— P. J. O’Rourke

17. Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body.
— Richard Steele

18. The good of a book lies in its being read.
— Umberto Eco

19. There is no mistaking a good book when one meets it. It is like falling in love.
— Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

20. Books, I found, had the power to make time stand still, retreat or fly into the future.
— Jim Bishop

What’s your favourite book? Leave us a comment with your favourite quote from it or send us a tweet about what you’re reading to @QuotablesHQ!

Featured image by celia gómez de villavedón.
Slider image by  margolove.

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Happy Birthday, Steve Jobs!

1. Life is fragile.
— Steve Jobs

2. Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want a chance to change the world?
— Steve Jobs

3. Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?
— Steve Jobs

4. We believe that people with passion can change the world for the better. And that those people that are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that actually do.
— Steve Jobs

5. Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.
— Steve Jobs

6. The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.
— Steve Jobs

7. Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.
— Steve Jobs

8. Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.
— Steve Jobs

9. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
— Steve Jobs

10. Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
— Steve Jobs

Image from creativebits.org.

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Top 20 Meryl Streep Quotes

Glasgow Film Festival is honouring the inimitable Meryl Streep this year with an excellent retrospective of 9 of her great films. The world-class actress has won Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress Oscars, along with a total 16 (count ‘em!) Academy Award Nominations.

We’ve compiled the Top 20 Meryl Streep Quotes from some of her best roles.

1. I had a farm in Africa at the foot of the Ngong Hills. The Equator runs across these highlands, a hundred miles to the north, and the farm lay at an altitude of over six thousand feet. In the day-time you felt that you had got high up; near to the sun, but the early mornings and evenings were limpid and restful, and the nights were cold.
— Karen Blixen, Out of Africa

2. So, we’ll go to that farm tomorrow. But please, Stingo, don’t talk about marriage and children. It’s enough that we’ll go down there on that farm to live… for a while.
— Sophie, Sophie’s Choice

3. What if I did drink too much wine? Whose business is that anyway? Who knows how much I didn’t drink, huh?
— Helen, Ironweed

4. Do what you will. Or what you must. Now that I know there was truly a day upon which you loved me, I can bear anything.
— Sarah, The French Lieutenant’s Woman

5. Michael: What kind of beer would you like?Linda: What? I don’t know. I don’t care. Any kind.
— Linda, The Deer Hunter

6. I woke up this morning, kept thinking about Billy and I was thinking about him waking up in his room with his little clouds all around that I painted and I thought I should have painted clouds downtown because then he would think that he was waking up at home. I came here to take my son home. And I realized he already is home.
— Joanna Kramer, Kramer vs Kramer

7. The dingo’s got my baby!
— Lindy Chamberlain, A Cry in the Dark

8. I want to keep it forever. I want to love you the way I do now the rest of my life. Don’t you understand… we’ll lose it if we leave. I can’t make an entire life disappear to start a new one. All I can do is try to hold onto to both. Help me. Help me not lose loving you.
— Francesca, The Bridges of Madison County

9. I thought you would be different. I said to myself, go ahead. Take a chance. Hire the smart, fat girl. I had hope. My God. I live on it.
— Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada

10. It’s so much easier to be happy. It’s so much easier to choose to love the things that you have, instead of always yearning for what you’re missing, or what it is that you’re imagining you’re missing. It is so much more peaceful.
— Kate Gulden, One True Thing

11. The assassin always dies, baby. It’s necessary for the national healing.
— Eleanor Shaw, The Manchurian Candidate

12. The thing about the toilet… if it doesn’t flush right away, then go and come back and it’ll… nothing works around here except for me.
— Donna, Mama Mia!

13. When you take a step to address wrongdoing, you are taking a step away from God, but in his service.
— Sister Aloysius Beauvier, Doubt

14. I’m Julia Child. Bon appetit!
— Julia Child, Julie & Julia

15. He was given to fits of rage, Jewish, liberal paranoia, male chauvinism, self-righteous misanthropy, and nihilistic moods of despair. He had complaints about life, but never solutions. He longed to be an artist, but balked at the necessary sacrifices. In his most private moments, he spoke of his fear of death which he elevated to tragic heights when, in fact, it was mere narcissism.
— Jill, Manhattan

16. I suppose I do have one unembarrassed passion. I want to know what it feels like to care about something passionately.
— Susan Orlean, Adaptation

17. Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.
— Karen Blixen, Out of Africa

18. I saw you this afternoon. Gone up the rock with a baby in a backpack. Carried a six-pack; I thought you were cracked!
— Lindy Chamberlain, A Cry in the Dark

19. Could you just not breathe?
— Madeline Ashton, Death Becomes Her

20. By all means move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.
— Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada

What’s your favourite Meryl Streep movie? Tweet us your favourite Streep quotes @QuotablesHQ!

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Top 50 The Simpsons Quotes

Happy Birthday, Matt Groening!

We’re suckers for a little TV, and The Simpsons is one of Quotables’ most quoted shows. We’re celebrating the birthday of this (disappointingly not-yellow) man with our Top 50 quotes from The Simpsons. Enjoy!

Top Quotes from The Simpsons

Matt Groening

1. All my friends say I should leave him because he’s mean, angry, and abusive. I need to get some new friends.
— Matt Groening

2. Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
— Matt Groening

3. Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
— Matt Groening

Homer Simpson

4. Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?
— Homer Simpson

5. Three little sentences will get you through life. Number one: Cover for me. Number two: Oh, good idea, boss. Number three: It was like that when I got here.
— Homer Simpson

6.Do I know what rhetorical means?
— Homer Simpson

7. Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
— Homer Simpson

8. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
— Homer Simpson

9. English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.
— Homer Simpson

10. Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
— Homer Simpson

11. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
— Homer Simpson

12. Just pick a dead end and chill out ’till you die.
— Homer Simpson

13. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
— Homer Simpson

14. Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
— Homer Simpson

15. I won’t apologize, Lisa. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way that I am.
— Homer Simpson

16. For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin… then the sweet, sweet innards…
— Homer Simpson

17. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
— Homer Simpson

18. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice and, um… [spots his can of Duff] Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good and you’d step over your own mother just to get one! [downs the beer] But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
— Homer Simpson

19. And lord, we’re especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we’d like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family’s experienced. Well, not today, you saw what happened! Oh Lord, be honest, are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what?
— Homer Simpson

20. Homer: Listen to me, Mr Bigshot! If you’re looking for the kind of employee who takes abuse and never sticks up for himself, I’m your man! You can treat me like dirt and I’ll still kiss your butt and call it ice cream. And if you don’t like it, I can change!Mr Burns: I like your attitude – feisty yet spineless! Welcome aboard son!
— Jeff Martin

21. Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

— Homer Simpson

22. Homer: I smell cake! Cake that says [sniff sniff] “Farewell” and [sniff sniff] “Best Wishes”!
Nelson: Your old man has an awesome nose.
Bart: Oh, that’s nothing. He can hear pudding.

— Homer Simpson

Marge Simpson

23. I’m just really worried about your weight. Bart says that we got a call from NASA, and your gravity is pulling satellites out of their orbit.
— Marge Simpson

24. This was such a pleasant St. Patrick’s Day until Irish people showed up.
— Marge Simpson

Bart Simpson

25. Who’d want to hurt me? I’m this century’s Dennis The Menace.
— Bart Simpson

26. Mom, I’m going to give you life the way I imagine you gave me life…by pressing Alt+F5 repeatedly.
— Bart Simpson

27. Bart: You make me sick, Homer! You’re the one who told me I could be the best at anything if I just put my mind to it!
Homer: Well, now that you’re a little bit older, I can tell you that’s a crock! No matter how good you are at something, there’s always about a million people better than you.
Bart: Gotcha. Can’t win, don’t try.

— Bart Simpson

Lisa Simpson

28. Romance is dead – it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
— Lisa Simpson

29. Lisa: I know one, about the most important sea voyage in American history — the journey of the Mayflower.
Sea Captain: Aw, yes. The ship that brought prostitutes to America.
Lisa: Not prostitutes, Protestants.
Sea Captain: Now who’s being naive?

— Lisa Simpson

Grampa Simpson

30. Bart Simpson: Didn’t you wonder why you were getting checks for doing absolutely nothing?
Grampa: I figured ’cause the Democrats were in power again.

— Grampa Simpson

31.It was your mother’s job to name you, and love you and such. I was mainly in it for the spanking.
— Grampa Simpson

Mr Burns

32. I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
— Mr Burns

33. Damn that Pennybags. Between him and Scrooge McDuck all the best ankle is taken.
— Mr. Burns

Ralph Wiggum

34. Me fail english? That’s unpossible.
— Ralph Wiggum

35. That’s where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!
— Ralph Wiggum

36. I choo-choo-choose you!
— Ralph Wiggum

Groundskeeper Willie

37. There is nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman.
— Groundskeeper Willie

38. This isn’t a skirt! It’s a kilt! And I’m not a girl!
— Groundskeeper Willie

Nelson Munz

39. Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.
— Nelson Munz

40. People, people, let’s not blame each other. We all know this is Milhouse’s fault.
— Nelson Munz

Sideshow Bob

41. You need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king.
— Sideshow Bob

42. It’s high time people realized we conservatives aren’t all Johnny Hatemongers, Charlie Bible Thumps, or even – God forbid – George Bushes.
— Sideshow Bob

Principal Skinner

43. Ah, “Diorama-Rama”, my favorite school event next to “Hearing-Test Thursday.”
— Principal Skinner

44. Attention: all honor students will be rewarded with a trip to an archeological dig. Conversely, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archaeological dig.
— Principal Skinner

Jasper

45. Moon Pie! What a time to be alive!
— Jasper

Krusty the Clown

46. Krusty: Every time you watch my show, I’ll send you $40! [holds up check]
Voice-over: Checks will not be honored.

— Krusty

47. That’s it, no more autographs. I gotta go. They’re naming a new sandwich after me at my restaurant.
— Krusty

Moe

48. See? You’re a pig. Barney’s a pig. Larry’s a pig. We’re all pigs. Except for one difference: once in a while, we can crawl out of the slop, hose ourselves off, and act like human beings.
— Moe

Barney Gumble

49. Barney: My name’s Barney, and I’m an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it that you girls can’t admit you have a problem?

— Barney Gumble

Smithers

50. Smithers: So, Mr. Burns can now do all his work for himself, but I will wager you dollars to donuts he can’t handle a call from his mother!
Homer: Mister Burns’ mother is still alive?
Smithers: They haven’t spoken in 50 years. He never forgave her for that affair with President Taft!
Homer: Taft, you old dog!

— Smithers

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Quotes in the Wild: Quotable Photography

Ernest Hemingway: Good pictures, what camera do you use?
Irving Penn: What typewriter do you use?

— Ernest Hemingway

Great art surpasses words, but words can also express things about photography that cannot be interpreted by the greatest of commentators.

Our Quotes in the Wild project is a way to celebrate wonderful words and beautiful pictures all wrapped up in one.

We’ve selected some of the best quotes about photography to inspire you to pick up your cameras and take part in our inaugural Quotes in the Wild contest, which aims to gather together the ultimate collection of photographs featuring quotations — either found or created. Curious what you’ll win?

Here’s what’s up for grabs:

  1. The best photographs – as selected by a panel of professional photographers – will be collected in a beautiful short-run book.
  2. Selected images will be included in our first ever Quotables exhibition (venue TBC – check back here for updates!).
  3. There will also be opportunities for further merchandising options for a select few images, with profits shared with the selected photographers.

Want to enter? Here’s how:

  1. Take a photo featuring a quotation.
  2. Find the quote in your photo on Quotables. Add it to the site if it’s not there!
  3. Upload your photo to our Flickr group.
  4. Insert a link back to your quote on Quotables in the photo description on Flickr.

10 Photography Quotables to Inspire

1. Even without taking pictures, carrying a camera enhances life.

— Chris Orwig

2. Once photography enters your bloodstream, it’s like a disease.

— Unknown

3. It’s more important to click with people than to click the shutter.

— Alfred Eisenstaedt

4. If your pictures aren’t good enough, you aren’t close enough.

— Robert Capa

5. A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know.

— Diane Arbus

6. A camera exposes more than just an image. It also exposes the photographer.

— Steve Coleman

7. Photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by holding it still.

— Dorothea Lange

8. Capture the beauty of this moment for tomorrow it will be different.

— Norman J. Piluke

9. It takes a lot of imagination to be a good photographer. You need less imagination to be a painter, because you can invent things. But in photography everything is so ordinary; it takes a lot of looking before you learn to see the ordinary.

— David Bailey

10. To me, photography is the simultaneous recognition, in a fraction of a second, of the significance of an event as well as of a precise organisation of forms which give that event its proper expression.

— Henri Cartier-Bresson

What are your favourite quotes about photography? Add them to Quotables or Tweet them at us – @QuotablesHQ!

Featured image by Ivan Amezcua.

Second image by Adelaide Rose.

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